You won't believe this greedy, gutsy baby shower invite

You won't believe this greedy, gutsy baby shower invite

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Does it get any more appalling than this baby-shower invite received by a shocked member of the our site Community?:

"I'm invited to a baby shower in a few weeks," she wrote. "There is a Facebook invite page where the mom-to-be's mother keeps posting, telling attendees what they should bring. First, it was a gift only off the registry. [S]he doesn't want us getting anything not on the registry. OK, I can do that. Then it was to buy a book in lieu of a card. [W]e should sign the inside cover of the book, the mom-to-be can read the books to baby. Now it's that we should all bring a package of diapers in addition to the gift and book. Oh, and it's potluck style.

"This is the only baby shower I've attended that I haven't been a part of planning. Are these requests normal? Am I overreacting in thinking it's all very tacky, bordering on rude? I understand I'm not obligated to do any of these things. I just can't believe she's asking all this of people."

Is this normal? I've never been invited to a baby shower with such tyrannical instructions. If I had been, I wouldn't go – and if I knew the person well, I'd be politely blunt in explaining why my RSVP was a regret.

I also haven't been given a baby shower since pre-Pinterest days. Back then, asking guests to bring signed books instead of greeting cards would have been more unique, not more commonplace. It's like the bossypants host of this invite found a gazillion great baby-shower ideas on Pinterest and wanted to use them all at once.

Don't get me wrong: I have no problem with themed showers, and I think the book idea is sweet and useful. But then the book would be the gift, not an extra. I once went to a diaper-themed shower and people gave diapers as gifts and nothing else and everyone was happy. Maybe I'd include more with the gift but it would depend on my financial situation and on how well I knew the mom-to-be.

Asking all guests to bring a book, a pack of diapers, a potluck dish and a gift adds up quickly. I think a lot of people wouldn't be able to afford it. Not to mention, if the shower was for me, I'd be mortified and unhappy if my family and friends were asked to break the budget on my behalf.

That's the thing, gift-giving is personal:

* When my sister-in-law was pregnant, I gave $100 toward a college-savings 529 plan for my nephew. My gift was more than usual because it was family.

* When good friends have baby showers, I usually spend $25-$50 for a gift – and the amount depends on the health of my bank account, not my love for the person.

* When people I barely know invite me to a shower, I spend under $25, sometimes significantly less, if my relationship to the mom-to-be was some convoluted connection and I might only see her at the shower and never again. We've all been there, right?

Sometimes my gifts veer off the registry and favor the personal because I know my friend would appreciate a particular special item. But mostly, and this is especially true the older I get, I prefer buying off the registry because it's exactly what the mom-to-be wants, it's usually within my budget and, honestly, it's faster and more convenient for busy-mom me.

Generally, I like present-giving as long as no demands are made on how I spend my money or my time searching to fulfill demanded gifts.

I find it all rude, greedy and ballsy-in-a-bad-way. But then again, maybe such invitations aren't shocking? A lot of our site readers responded with recognition, as in they've received similar invites. And it was less than a year ago that one mom-to-be had her Internet moment after writing nasty poems to baby-shower guests who did not buy off her registry or who didn't attend and, therefore, didn't send a gift.

Images courtesy of MorgueFile.

Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.

Watch the video: BABY BEES VIRTUAL BABY SHOWER!!! PART 1 (August 2022).

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